Because I am super discouraged.
Maybe a little depressed.
Definately a whole lot "why did I do this".
I try to be positive when I can but I have no positivity left. I have had two fills now, the first one was 1.5 cc and the second, .5 cc and I still feel like I never had surgery. Its maddening to know I have gone through this, had my belly poked and prodded three times (one time was a fill fail, more on that later-probably) and I have no restriction whatsoever. I understand this is a tool and not a miracle fix blah blah blah, But if I didnt need the tool I would never have had surgery. I may be getting a little to impatient, but I am mostly upset that the fill center would not give me more than .5, because "I had lost 5 lbs in two weeks" Well two things about that is wrong, first, I hadnt truly lost that- for whatever reason when I went into the office two weeks ago my weight was higher than it had been since surgery so I knew I would register a loss when I went back in, I explained this to them and that if I lost anything it was all me and not the band but they just felt I was "doing great" and didnt need much more. I have a 14cc band, with my surgery amount and my two fills I am at 7 cc's, when can I expect to feel anything? A friend asked me about surgery yesterday and I had to tell her that it was not the best time to ask me, because I would have definately went with something different at this point, something more drastic but its too late. This is such a pity post, and I am living in my own pity party right now. Blah, this too shall pass.
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